Instead of designing icons and costing me extra, why don’t you just use the ‘Wingdings’ font?

clientsfromhell.net

"I’ve decided that the amount you invoiced us for is far too much. Here’s my thinking: We are paying you to come up with an idea — we’re not paying you for the time you take to think about it. The actual idea must only take about 30 seconds to think about as you come up with it. All these visuals, that’s just typing. I can do that in Word. It would take me 5 minutes. So I only want to pay you for 5 and a half minutes work."

Client: “The blue isn’t right.”
Me: “What PMS color are we trying to match?”
Client: “Oh, you know, the color of the Texas sky around daybreak.”

“I hate this new font. Use the first one I showed you. This one makes the site look cheap instead of elegant.”
The ‘cheap’ font was Georgia, the ‘elegant’ font was Georgia Italic.

"Wait, you’re working on other projects? For the money I’m paying, you should be exclusive to me."

"Thanks for emailing me the PDF. Can you please resend it to me at 100% and not at 147%."

"Well I’m a bit of a designer too. I have a Myspace."

One client called me this morning. After a brief discussion and proposing the price, suddenly he said :
“I’m sorry, I thought freelancers work for free.”

Client: “It’s a great design. Beautiful, classic, elegant and sleek. It hits everything on our wish list, can we add in some cheetah or leopard print?”

"We shouldn’t have to pay you for this, because if we had the resources in-house, we’d be able to do it for free."

"We need a logo. It needs to have a picture of a barn, a river, and some fish in it, along with our name, and our tagline. It’s very simple. I already drafted up the idea for you in powerpoint. It should be pretty easy, and won’t take up much of your time. You can do this for free, right?"

Client: “That font right there! It’s clean yet edgy. There’s no WAY I’ve seen that font before, I would’ve remembered! What font is that?”
Me: “Arial.”

"Make sure it’s not too edgy, not too flashy, not too much detail, not classical/traditional, not too complex, exciting, but not all over all over the place, efficient but fun, clean, fresh, modern, up beat, contemporary, high readability, smooth, shapeless, timeless, not outdated, but simple."

A client just submitted his logo to me by sending a link to his store’s address on Google Maps… “Click on the thumbtack and it will take you to a picture of the front of my store. The logo is on the sign.”