Spring is in the air.

photo by:

A. Jeglinska

/brokenheart

When a girl meets a boy - on-line

I've been doing on-line dating for about two years now. On and off.
I end up going out with bunch of men I've met in this odd place where e-mail, photos and first hello is the way to impress somebody.

I've to say that it's not only fascinating place but also frustrating one. From "oh hello there" to "You jerk", you can browse through and talk to hundreds if not thousands single (sometimes not) men.

I have to tell you, I think I met everything. From mister bomb, with his shirt magically blown away as he was snapping his picture with web-cam while flexing. To, hi I'm mister fake name and fake photo pulled from stock images site, I didn't even bother to crop out the logo or watermark because most girls will be dumb enough to not see it; after all - I am hot! Fake hot!

One of my favourite kinds are those who don't talk about themselves, oh no, that would be a crime. They talk about girls they came across. It's one big profile of bitching and complaining. A river of tears, bitter words and anger.

Please, just start a blog for that, don't write it in your profile!

Why would a girl be even mildly interested with your whining? What on earth were you thinking? Do those men really believe that after reading a sea of complains anyone would be willing to message? "Oh hello there mister cry-baby! I loved your profile, so intense, so passionate, you really must hate everyone, but I love you, I will love you forever and ever, let's have a drink!"

Really?

There is also another group. I call them "editors", they will read your profile and point out missing comma and a pimple on you chin. They literally will copy and paste your entire profile and sentence by sentence they will give you free editorial, including (just wait!) a psychiatric evaluation! That's right. All for free.

And the funniest part about it is that at the end, they will still ask you out. Really? Hello!

No way in hell mister Editor.

Here is the thing.

You can complain or vent or talk about on-line dating, share your experience (like me) but there are some rules as far as that first contact with other human being.

I mean, you can't see me, I can't see you - why not write something that will make me -want- to see you?

Not interested? Delete the e-mail.

When I first joined the world on on-line dating I was surprised with entire delete thing. I found it a bit offensive. But I quickly did learn that it is a way to go.

Imagine mister Bob (let's call him Bob, shall we?) sending me a nice e-mail. It's great, nice guy, but just not my type (say all you want, but there are just some looks we are not into, everyone has their own "yes, you are cute" and "ehm...no, not my type"). I would replay, perhaps slip little thank you for complement or comment on something he wrote. Then simply at the end, as a sign off, I would slip in "not interested" part.

You are probably thinking this is it? That mister Bob moved on. Wrong.

In 95% of cases like mister Bob, they will end up still spamming you with letters. Some will ask why? oh why but why and why? I don't understand why? Sometimes, you may even try to explain why.

BIG mistake.

Writing "you are not my type" is like a stab in heart to many (so I've learn).

They will eat you alive, and as you run for your life, they will chase you and hunt you down and curse you out (something along the lines of "if you are looking for a hot model then good luck bitch!" etc).

That's right. Men, do not like to be rejected. Hell, nobody does. But let's be a bit normal about it, shall we?

So I stopped.

I simply delete the e-mail, do my little "hey I'm not interested" by NOT replaying.

How to eliminate potential horror dates.

It's really not that hard. Trust me. Well, unless you have completely no clue how to catch those little "red signals" of when to run.

I usually start with casual chat via e-mail. Do my little exploration of the surface, ask few questions about music, movies, dreams.

Then I start to dig a bit deeper. I ask about why the last relationship did not work out (good way to get a small hint on personality of our future date), what made them smile today (if his a selfish bastard the answer will be "my reflection". But if he writes something sweet and cute, hey! he may have a heart). I sometimes even like to toss little "hey, where do you imagine yourself in 10 years?".

Eventually when the vibe is good, sense of humour checked, we go to stage #2 - a phone call.

This is crucial.

I kid you not, but I've been in many situation where edited 50 times, lovely e-mails turn out to NOT be that kind of phone chat I was expecting.

Besides, phone is a great way to hear his voice (good voice is my weakness. A man who can tease and flirt by using tone of his voice will melt me completely), see if you will stumble with conversation or chat over each other, or will he talk about himself way to much and never ask a single question about you. Perhaps he will be so high that nothing that comes out of his mouth will make sense. Or he may turn out to be a guy still obsessed with his ex who he broke up with 2 years ago, and all you will hear is how big of a bitch she was (I had that happen to me once, after 40min I hanged up on him).

Others had nothing to say, even though the e-mails were a sea of great conversations.

So chat, ask about few things, don't talk way to much, after all you want to leave some topics for that dream date of yours.

Even though I had to dig through "hey babe" and "men who like to write everything in one sentence and don't feel the need to use period even when they switch the subject because for some reason that is normal way of writing probably they didn't even read the email before hitting send they still send it in hopes for great date with a wonderful woman like you" and those who yell and cry; I still met great guys.

I had very good times going for coffee, having a drink or a dinner.

So don't give up.

Learn how to deal with on-line dating.

And if you find it way to frustrating, simply delete your account.

After all, not all of us can take well a meeting of 25, handsome 5'8", fit man who turns out to be somebody different then pictures attached, shorter by 5' and heavier by 200 lb.

(this post may be edited later)

Taking tattooing to the next level

Tattoo above was done by: www.amandawachobtattoo.com

I have a great passion for tattoos. I simply love them. I am not sure if that has something to do with me being a designer or with my rebellious personality.

Personally, I only have 3 small tattoos. Each of them have a meaning to me, and any new one I will get will represent small part of me.

For now though, I have two dragons which represent my passion for fantasy, also the beauty of mystical creatures and dragons are my little protectors as I go through my life.

My third tattoo is new. I just got it about month ago. I always wanted to have a tattoo that simply means love. Why?

I guess it's because love is the key thing in my life. Love will always guide my choices, love will always be the most important thing to me. I live for love, because once you have it, that's all you need. Everything else will fall into right place, and you can fight the biggest battles of your life and win or loose, and it won't matter because you have love by your side.

I didn't want to go for heart or anything that could easily be read as "love", so I found a symbol (I love symbols, yet another of my fascinations).
It's a African symbol (Adinkra) "Odo nyera fie kwan", which means "Love does not lose its way home" (Blessing in loving).

Being somebody who lives away from home (ocean away in my case) it goes beyond "love", it's about home, my parents, my existing family and family I will have in the future with a person that I will love.

Little bit of history on Adinkra:
The Adinkra symbols are believed to have their origin from Gyaman, a former kingdom in today’s Côte D’Ivoire. According to an Asante (Ghana) legend Adinkra was the name of a king of the Gyaman (Nana kofi Adinkra). Adinkra was defeated and captured in a battle by the Asantes for having copied the “Golden Stool”, which represents for them absolute power and tribal cohesion. He was finally killed and his territory annexed to the kingdom of Asante.

The tradition had it that Nana Adinkra wore patterned cloth, which was interpreted as a way of expressing his sorrow on being taken to Kumasi the capital of Asante.

The Asante people around the 19th century then took to painting of traditional symbols of the Gyamans onto cloth, a tradition that was well practiced by the latter. Adinkra also means ‘goodbye’ or ‘farewell’ in Twi the language of the Akan ethnic group of which Asante is a part. It has therefore been the tradition of the Akan especially the Asante to wear cloths decorated with Adinkra symbols on important occasions especially at funerals of family relations and friends. This is to signify their sorrow and to bid farewell to the deceased.

Creative inks
Recently I been trying to design another new tattoo.
I'm picky. I have million ideas, and really hard time picking what suits me best. But that's a different story.

Where I was going with this post was to show you a really creative and interesting tattoos, which may blow you away,
or maybe stimulate you and if you happen to plan your own tattoo, perhaps you will push the subject and do something unique, something that doesn't follow the "tattoo standards".

Introducing Amanda, a fantastic tattoo artist from New York City.

Enjoy!

Meet the artist
Artist: Amanda Wachob
Portfolio: www.amandawachobtattoo.com
Located: New York

Question
If you have a tattoo, what is it and why did you get it?
If you are planning tattoo, what is your inspiration?

In the world of watercolour and ink

I came across Stina Persson's portfolio by pure accident.
I was amazed and glued to her work right off the bat. Her work is not only filled with beautiful colours which tease our eyes, but also with passion. The work is simple, yet deep.

Enjoy.

www.stinapersson.com

"I keep a close watch on this heart of mine. I keep my eyes wide open all the time"

Lately I been listening to some Johnny Cash. I never been a fan, though I respect him. There are some beautiful songs created by Johnny. One of them is Walk the line.
I was just listening to it and it made me think.. how many of us really do mean when we say we will walk the line?
From my dating history and men who sneaked into my heart I found that not many of them really mean when they say they will walk the line.

What's your story?

How many times will you get disappointed, cheated on, lied to till your heart shuts and becomes numb?
And for those of you who have that true love, do you fully cherish it? or take it for granted?

"I keep a close watch on this heart of mine
I keep my eyes wide open all the time
I keep the ends out for the tie that binds
Because you're mine I walk the line."

Shoes! Shoes! What? Shoes!

Yeah, so I am officially that girl who is crazy about her shoes. I never been one, I never understood why some girls are. But the day has come. I'm 30 years old and I love my new white shoes (thank you Karina).

What I discovered is that no matter what mood I wake up in the moment I put my shoes on, I feel special. I put my headphones and listen to some old school punk or rock (recently it's been The Runaways). And I feel... good.

So, if you feel shitty... wear something that makes you feel like a superwoman.

Maybe even sing some while walking the street. So what if people will think you are crazy.

After all, you are the cherry bomb!

When did you last kissed?

I was watching Remember Me just the other day. I won't really talk about the movie because that's not the topic of this post.
I finished movie feeling old, and I realized I really miss the casual making out. The kissing for hours, the one where your friends would comment "did you see that couple over there in the corner eating each other?", the one that leaves your skin irritated and red, lips hurting because he didn't shave this morning and heart beating so fast.

The question is, when was the last time you kissed? Make out till dawn... and even though you spend hour kissing it never lead to sex.
I can't really remember the last time.
I know I miss it. I miss having that man beside me who will hunger for my lips and who will know that sometimes it's all right to just leave it at that... a kiss.

Art around us

This is pretty old photo, probably done last year when my building was going through some heavy renovations.
Every day I would leave my apartment and stare at the ground with a smile on my face, because what I was staring at was a naked concrete, which looked like canvas to me.

You be the judge.

Welcome

I decided to try a bit of blogging. It probably will be a page with links and random photos I ether found or took, perhaps some of my work.

Day one of blogging.

yay!